So I recently told this guy that I have a crush on him. It was a bold move because I was putting myself out there, but my biggest question to myself is, what was I putting myself out there for?
I think I’m finally finding myself. I finally know what I want with my life. I’m finally figuring out my place in this world which is amazing because all this is happening just before I turn 24.
So now back to this guy. I like him. I think he’s hella cute. Yes I just used the word ‘hella’….lol I think he has an amazing personality. He would make an amazing boyfriend but I’m not sure he would make an amazing boyfriend to me.
I mean I know I’m the one who set this whole thing in motion by telling him how I feel but that doesn’t mean I want something to happen between us. I quite like our current dynamic. I don’t want to ruin our current relationship. Our friendship. But this isn’t even about that. I’m they type of girl who gets all wrapped up in her man’s life. I have my own life but he becomes a major priority. In the past I’ve let my relationships consume my life. I think it’s major progress that I’m even admitting that. The fact is, I’m a working progress….I’m not in a position to be with anyone right now.
I think that’s the first time I’ve said that out loud….wow. This is profound for me right now.
As much as I like this guy and dream about him and our brown sugar babies, there really isn’t much for us in the way of a relationship right now. Maybe in the future…who knows.