STORY OF MY LIFE

In my dating experience I have only met one guy that I thought had ‘the one’ potential. What went wrong with us is, it was a long distance relationship, which normally have only a 40% success rate. So that was doomed from the get go. That said, he was a really good guy. The type of guy I always thought I would end up with. That came to an end after 8 short months. We tried to give it an other shot but that didn’t even last a month. We are still friends though. We talk almost everyday now. We genuinely wish each other well.

When it comes to dating guys my age, this particular ex was the only exception to the rule. Guys my age, in their early twenties I mean, are only good to hang out with. The ones I would be into are literally all taken and in few instances, gay. Which brings me to the subject of what it is I want or I’m looking for in a guy.

I want a focused guy. Someone who is self-aware. Someone who knows what he wants in life and out of life. Someone with a functional, if not good, relationship with his family. Family is very important to me. Someone kind and generous but assertive. Someone who is loving and caring. Someone fun with a slightly dark sense of humor. Someone witty…..I think smart is sexy! Someone who doesn’t play mind games. An honest person and above all, someone who puts God first.

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From that, should I call it profile….lol, guys my age who fit are already taken or come with an immense amount of baggage. Older guys who fit the profile want to get married tomorrow. I am only 22! I have my whole life ahead of me. I am not about to get married or anything like that. Hence I have involuntary been left to a life of single hood.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind being single but it’s just some times i want to share some things with some who is not my bestie or my mum. I want to have running inside jokes with someone….I want to have someone to cuddle with and watch some random movie. I want some one to walk me to the bus stop or drive me home. I’m not picky…..lol. I want someone to hold hands with in town. I want someone who will teach me how to play FIFA or call of duty. Someone who can text with me into the wee hours of the morning and we both have things to do early the next day. Someone who likes all crime dramas on TV like I do….CSI, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Major Crimes, Blue bloods, Hawaii Five-o to name just a few….Someone who likes comedies too: Big Bang Theory and Two Broke Girls are my favs right now. Before I digress and turn this into a movie/series post lets go back to the point. I miss sharing a connection with someone. I miss knowing that they are always in my corner as I am in theirs. I am so tired of caring and investing in people who don’t value me as much as I value them or value me at all.

My mom told me I’m at an age where people crave companionship. As much as I’ll never admit to her that this is true…..it is the truth. I love my mum and my besties but it’s just not the same. I want to be looked at in a certain way, I want to be held in a certain way. Maybe I am craving to share my life with someone. I’m not the get married and happy ever after type, but that is starting to sound very enticing right now….

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Emotional Hostage

I hate how easy it is for you to walk in and out of my life. I’m tired of waiting for you to do right by me. I know at the back of my mind that you won’t, that you don’t even know what it means to do right by me.
At this point I want you to step up and be with me or just leave me alone. I know you want to be settled and stable before you start thinking about our future but I’m not the type of girl who seats at home and expect you to provide for me. I’m the type of girl who hustels with you. We work hard together. I’m the type of girl who wants us to grow together, in all aspects.
I feel like I’m stuck in a space where I can’t move on if you don’t let me. I feel like you know how much I love you and the kind of hold you have on me and you use that against me. Every time I feel like I’m in a space where I can finally move on you pull me back into that mess…
I’m a srong woman but I love hard. And I loved you…..hard. love is not something you just switch off, and its not like we had a bad explosive brake up. So its been a bit of an uphill task to completely let go.
Bottom line is, if we are not going to be happy together then we should let each other be happy with other people. This going round in circles is not healthy. Love me or leave me the hell alone……

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Being Limitless

I have come to terms with the fact that my life is not a romcom….I know what your thinking, and no, I’m not naive and yes, I have watched too many movies. But thus far my life has been pretty awesome.
I have come to realize that a person cannot be just one thing. You cannot be labelled a certain thing and just be it…we have the power within us to be limitless!!!! So this year I am promising myself that I this is my year of action. Everything I have dreamt of, I want to do or at least try to do it. I want to actively seek out ways to achieve my dreams. I know how big the dream is, I want to try and accomplished it because I’ll never know if I’ll succeeded unless I try….
I am limitless
I will lead a limitless life
2015 is my year!!!!

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