Claim your crown

image

I have three role models. All women. For very different reasons. One is Ms. Debra Lee. CEO of BET. The music business is an old boys club yet this woman has managed to rise to the helm of it. I admire and applaud her. Second is a West African writer, Chidinma Ngozi. She inspires me because she is not afraid to speak her mind. She is a proud feminist and she is unapologetic about it. I have recently discovered that I too, I’m a feminist. The third person is my mother. Mrs. Jannie Wanjiku Kahugu (her real name is Jane by the way but she likes Jannie because it makes her sound younger) My mother is the strongest woman I know. Both emotionally and physically. Physically because ever since I could remember my mum says she is dieing…… Relax! Don’t get all shocked and worried. Its actually a funny story. So every time my mum is in pain, she says she is dieing….well, maybe its not that funny…its one of those things where you have to be there to get the humour.

Anyway, I admire these three women because they are committed and passionate. They reflect in very different ways what and who I want to become. They stand for something. Which is not something a lot of young women these days can say they do. Girls these days are like flags. They go wherever the wind blows. I know I’m being judgemental right now but I think it has come to that.
There are too many girls with kids while they are still kids themselves. Still living with their mothers. Too many girls out there who are bing pass around more than a blunt. Too many for me to just sit and mind my own business.
I feel I have to speak against this because I don’t want my nine year old sister to grow up thinking this is acceptable! That sleeping with many random guys is cool! Because its not. We as women need to regain our dignity!

Claim your crown!

You are the daughter of a king! You better start acting like one. Your father is not just any King, He is the King of Kings! The creator of everything.

There are things we have all done, myself included, that we are not proud of and that’s in the past! There’s nothing we can do to change that. We can only work on being better people in the future. Claim your crown young lady, live the life your Father, the King of Kings, desired you to live. You DO NOT need validation from anyone or anything. You are beautifully and wonderfully made by the King Himself. If that is not validation enough I don’t know what is.
People always try to look for meaning or a purpose in other people or in things. We forget that people or things did not put us on this earth. He did. Seek purpose from Him.
Stand for something. I admire the three ladies I mentioned because they stand for something. They know what they want and they go for it. If we had more women like them the world would be a better place.
Women of my generation need to stand up and stand for something so that when my daughter starts to blog she will have women she admirers and wants to be like.
The world is changing. Things that my grandmother found to be an abomination are acceptable now. Just because others are doing it doesn’t mean you have to do it too. Don’t be a flag….you don’t have to do what other people think is cool. After all we only remember the people who stood out. We only celebrate those who dared to be different.

Beauty is not skin deep

I recently read a very disturbing article in a local daily, which got me thinking. How superficial are we? By “we” I mean as a society. We attach some sort of respect or give some sort of special treatment to better looking people in the society yet, Beauty is not an achievement.
Nowadays, we have a mental check list for people we get in relationships with. Not only romantic relationship but friendship too. 

image

Girls these days want so much from a guy. He has to be tall, muscular, have a perfect smile, have a six pack and on top of all that he has to be rich. There’s nothing about him being a good guy. Nothing about him being a guy that treats you right. Nothing about him loving you. We are so concerned with instagram photos and Facebook statuses and What people think about you…but when he starts treating you like shit you wonder why? When she sleeps with your best friend you get upset? You shouldn’t get upset because you never took the time to find out who he really is. You never looked passed what he looked like.

image

Beauty to me is what’s on the inside shining through to the outside. An attractive person will catch your attention but will they keep you interested? Are they able to hold a conversation? Do you have anything in common? Do they like you for who you are?
I believe that beauty is not skin deep in fact I know people who are considered good looking who are awful people. Nobody wants to be around people who have ugly personalities. Instead of being so invested in what other people think about us, We should concentrate on creating meaningful relationship and finding happiness in ourselpeople we need to stop letting happiness be defined by other people thinking that we are doing better than them. I don’t know about you but I want to be happy because I’m happy. I don’t care what other people think about who I’m dating or who I’m friends with. I chose to be beautiful inside first.
I have nothing against people who consider themselves attractive. In fact I think I’m an attractive person myself but that’s not the thing I want people to identify me with. I’m friendly, warm and up beat. Things people would know from knowing me and not judging me at face value. Be more than just a face or clothes and shoes. Remember beauty is not just skin deep.

Be careful of what you post on social media.

Recently my cousin posted a photo on social media that got me thinking. It was not a photo of him in a very compromising situation but it is also not a photo that should be posted on social media. So this brings up the question, where do we draw the line when it comes to social media? What is private and what should be made public?
I personally use social media to vent or when I’m very happy or to share experiences. I’ll confess I also use it to keep tabs on my Exs, we all do it…and that’s not me being defensive….lol. I never post anything that I wouldn’t want my mother to see, but that’s just me. I even took it a step further to have my mum as my friend on Facebook. So I always think twice about the things I post.
We are now in a very digitized age where one can be Googled and all sorts of things that you have posted or has been posted of you will come up. Now, if you were to apply for a job and they happen to Google you and find all this things that you posted. How do you think it plays on your character? Do you think they would want to be associated with people who do not know how to keep their private things private.
We should be very careful with what we put up on the Internet. It might be very exciting and a good idea at the time but this things have a way of coming back to bite us in the back. Words have a lot of weight and power, and pictures are worth a thousand words.

Be careful of what you post!

Growing up

I’m turning 22 in a couple of weeks. I think I’m going through what has come to be known as “quatre life crisis”. When I first heard that term I thought it was genius, pure genius! Because it explained what was happening to me. I didn’t quite understand what was going on, but I knew it had to be it.
I was, I am tired of all the things people my age are doing. I wanted to have some perspective in my life. Starting with my relationships, I wanted to surround myself with people who add value to my life. People with vision and passion. So needless to say I lost quite a number of friends and gained a few, my circle of friends became very small. And the good thing is I know they will be around for a very long time.
I also developed some sort of a business sense. I found out that I didn’t want to work for anyone when I’m done with school. I had so many ideas for a start up business but nothing really stuck. I was getting restless. I became an insomniac and I lost weight, which I am not complaining about by the way. I think, I am instinctively craving for order in my life. For things to fall into place, the problem is things take time and I’m not generally the patient type.

image

I wasn’t ready to just sit around and wait for things to happen. Which is one of the reasons I started blogging.
I can’t wait for this phase to be over. I recently got henna on my nails which is pretty permanent and as if that is not enough, I cut my hair and got dreadlocks.

I feel like life is a constant struggle to fit in. I think we, twenty something year olds, are just trying to find our place in the world, to find our purposes. I am trying really hard to be patient and let the cards fall where they may.
I think I can see light at the end of my quatre life crisis tunnel. After this experience I’m not looking forward to my mid life crisis. I’m hoping by that time they would have invented a pill for it or something….
We were all created for something. To serve some sort of purpose. So I think it’s time to let go and let God do His thing.

Come on inner peace…..lets try this again.

Generational Difference

I, as an observer of what’s going on in the world, and a young person in this day and age, I’m appalled by what I see. We see people setting us, young people, up to fail.
We have our elders working so hard for us to have a better future. To pave the way for us yet they are the same people who refuse to give us opportunities to prove our worth. This is a common occurrance in not only my country (Kenya) but everywhere in the world. It also happens in all industries. I’m glad that we have young CEOs, CFOs and COOs but the number of young people in the corporate world is even less than that of women:that is a topic which we will discuss at another time; considering I am a young woman.
They call us the leaders of tomorrow. Well, news flash people! Tomorrow is here! You have had your time in the sun now it’s our time to tan….lol. No seriously though, You stood on the shoulder of those who came before you. They paved the way for you so you could be what you are. Now, why won’t you let us have our time?
Let’s use an example of people we all know. Recently I heard that Nicki Minaj was hating on Iggy Azelea who is a young upcoming female rapper. Nicki is not even old, which is one reason why this is so ridiculous. She understands how hard it is for a woman to break into the hip hop game but instead of her holding this young girls hand she is putting her down which is sad to see.
Bringing this closer to home, how many times have your heard “you are too young to understand” or ” it will all make sense when your older”. How old do I have to be to “understand”? And how old is old? We
have alot of energy now. We can do a lot now….we are very passionate and energetic. Mentor us, guide us, make us “understand”. We are eager to make a difference, to pave the way for others to come after us, to leave the world better than we found it.
I can only hope that we the youth learn from this and when its time for us to step aside. We will speak life into the next generation, hold them up to stand on our shoulders so they can reach for what we didn’t.
Aspire. Inspire, bless and be limitless. when your time is done cheer and encourage from the sidelines.

(I apologise for the lack of an image I will look for a fitting one in my next post.)

Getting over Mr. Ex

I just went through the toughest break up I have gone through in my life. I knew I should let go but I didn’t want to. There wasn’t anything good that was going to come out of that relationship but we were both in love with how we loved. I loved being loved. I loved being wanted, I loved loving.  The only problem with this is that, I gave my all to Mr. Ex which was my way of loving him. I wanted him to love me the same way. I didn’t realise at the time, that I was giving what I wanted to receive. And not letting him love me in the way he knows how. The problem with this is, we have different love languages. And most of the time we show love how we would want to receive it. If you don’t know your partner’s love language then they will end up feeling unappreciated. We will discuss love languages at another time though. It took me a while to understand this. And even after I understood it, it was hard for me to communicate this to him.

image

I took on a lot of the responsibility for our failing relationship, While it wasn’t all my fault, Because of this it was very easy for me to keep sliding back in to something that doesn’t work. After all insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So I decided for the sake of my sanity, if not for anything else, I had to walk away. It was very hard for me to do this because I was in love with being in love. But sometimes love is just not enough.
Now, I realise that we were not ment to be. We wanted different things.
I’m finally at a place where I feel I’m okay with being me and just me. Finally getting over Mr. Ex